Fully Reliant on God: A Path Through Recovery

       I am K8 & I am Overeater and Alcoholic.

I know that is a weird thing to say BUT it is the most important part of my Experience, Strength, and Hope. I have been in 12 step programs for 40 years. In AA: if your head is on straight you don’t drink. Unfortunately, food cannot be treated like that: it’s essential.

I thought I would have to spend every waking moment walking a tightrope between eating and overeating:

• Timing my consumption -eg. nothing before 8 or after 18.00.
• Journalling symptoms of emotional hunger.
• Going to shop next door and buying one carrot or one apple.
• Cooking for four and freezing 80% of it.
• Refusing all visits where someone else allocated the food.

I set myself tests:

Was I powerless over food or just SOME food?

How do I face the terror of punishment, if I didn’t finish my plate?

How could I face being a normal size – what excuse would I have left for failure if the fat disappeared?

It isn’t like that at all. I surrendered.

In the morning I read Voices of Recovery.

I ask God: whatever I eat, may it be enough.

I only buy what is good for me.

If I have an invitation to eat out I want details.

If something sweet sets off cravings, I have celery & cucumber in my pocket to chew until the cravings go.

I meet with other OA members and we talk about how we can help the next person.

Food hardly gets mentioned.

My sponsor has invited me to a retreat. This is the first year I said no. Previously I have paid up front, knowing I couldn’t stay.

I am available to start a meeting in Ashford. If that is what God wants, then that is what I’ll do. And if he doesn’t, I won’t.

I have lost four stone (56lbs/25kg) since I stopped trying to control my eating.

For emotional support I use OA, AA, CA, ACA and Al-Anon.

Fully

Reliant

On

God.

K8