Abstinence is a spiritual practice
I was only eight years old when I first realized how overweight I was. My parents took me to the doctor, who severely told me that I needed to go on a diet. From that day on, my life became one of deprivation and constant efforts to lose weight—something that continued for more than 50 years. Every day I felt unhappy and unfairly treated, and I would pray to wake up thin one morning.
My teenage years were a constant struggle with restrictive diets to keep my weight low, and for a while, I succeeded. However, the endless effort, always accompanied by a sense of failure, made me self-centered, resentful, perfectionistic, and harsh, with low self-esteem.
I met my husband when I was 18 (we’ve now been married for 40 years), and I fell in love with him because he chose me for my character, not my appearance. I never believed that I could choose a partner I was attracted to. I never felt like I had the right to choose.
For years, no matter what I achieved—whether in my career or family life—I could never fully enjoy it because I was constantly battling my weight. The highest weight I ever reached was 80 kg. However, over the course of those 50+ years, until I discovered the fellowship, I had lost and regained more than 300 kg in a constant cycle of dieting.
Eighteen months ago, when I had reached the limits of my despair, I started to accept that there was nothing more I could do, that I was destined to grow old and overweight. Then I joined an open online meeting for Overeaters Anonymous to learn about the First Step. I am forever grateful to the member who suggested it because it changed my life.
For the first time in my life, I realized that my weight was not my fault—it wasn’t due to weakness or lack of willpower. Like thousands of others I was suffering from the disease of compulsive overeating. That realization was my first step towards a new life. My hope was restored, and my faith in the program and the fellowship became my higher power. I then encountered my greatest challenge: Abstinence.
Abstinence entered my life as a spiritual practice, and it gave me freedom, dignity, and self-respect. I didn’t need anyone to hand me a piece of paper telling me what to eat. Removing my “red-light” foods was like taking aspirin for my illness. Meetings became an essential part of my daily life. Every day I join at least one meeting and I also attend a person-to-person group. I see my new friends who never judge me and truly understand me. I listen to the shares with reverence, and I get resonate with most of them.
The miracle didn’t stop there. By working the Steps, feelings of love, understanding, and acceptance replaced my harshness and judgmental attitude toward others.
Today, more than 2 and a half years later, I have lost 25 kg, and I wear my daughter’s size small clothes. I wake up every morning feeling grateful because I am abstinent and can enjoy the beauty of each day without overthinking food. Now, I know that I will always have an obsessive and compulsive nature—but today abstinence and the program’s tools have become my new obsessions, and I am deeply grateful for that.
– Greece
